T E X A R R A K I S

now, from this point forward, we will date our entries using the mayan calendar.

that is all.

 Hello, TEXARRAKIS here. I've just initialized an INTERACTIVE TEXT GARDEN. Check it out, say what you want to say, and enjoy!

INTERACTIVE TEXT GARDEN

CONGRATULATIONS TO TEXARRAKIS'S 10,000 VISITOR!!!

THAT'S RIGHT. YOU HEARD IT. 10,000 VISITORS TO TEXARRAKIS, from our launch date on THURSDAY, OCTOBER 16th 2009, to today, Monday March 1st 2010, the first day of the month which we are actually going to BEGIN our plans. We haven't even started yet. Here we are, in Massachusetts, providing you with a mild amount of entertainment, slowly planning and plotting and hoarding capital, so that we may exist outside the realm of modern society, living on our own and off the grid (so to speak, the "grid" now floats wirelessly all across the land). Just wait until we are down there, and the closest thing we will have to a full time job is updating this internet existence.

SO IN COMMEMORATION OF OUR 10,000TH VISITOR (whoever you are), here is a bit of infotainment that may actually be somewhat boring and pointless. BEHOLD, THE FOLLOWING GRAPH:

FIG 1: THE HEARTBEAT

The emerging heartbeat of TEXARRAKIS. It starts with a bit of a thud on October 15th, then murmurs along slowly for a few months, getting maybe, at the most, 80 hits a day, but on average somewhere between 20 and 50 hits. Then comes Dr Martin Luther King Jr, and a lot of people become interested in TEXARRAKIS through our addition of the audio of his speeches to our ever expanding library. Then, we are graciously linked to from the webcomic Dominic Deegan: Oracle for Hire, and get our heaviest traffic yet.

FIG 2: THE STATS

Oh, how sweet it is. An average viewing of pages at almost 5! The average time spent on the site is a little over 2 minutes! 58,000 page views! GOOGLE ANALYTICS SURE KNOWS HOW TO MAKE A WEBPAGE SWOON.

FIG 3: INTERNATIONAL

Look at those countries! Look at em all! WE ARE WORLD FAMOUS DON'T YOU SEE WORLD FAMOUS
AND WE HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING YET BUT PLAN TO DO SOMETHING!

NOW, I thought you might be interested in the types of visits we've received. Check out these interesting and questionable ISPs that we've logged visiting our site, listed in order of title size, with descriptions if warranted:

Board of Regents of the University System of Georgia
 United States Army Information Systems Command
Florida Department of Environmental Protection
National Aeronautics and Space Administration
New Jersey Department of Transportation
West Virginia Department of Education
New York State Office of Mental Health
State of Nebraska - Office of the CIO
Army & Air Force Exchange Services
Navy Network Information Center
US Department of Transportation
US Department of the Treasury
Federal Aviation Administration
Northern Territory Government
US House of Representatives
United States Postal Service
Saudi Arabian Oil Company
Church of Self Realization
City of Chelsea City Hall
Virginia Military Institute
Petroleos Mexicanos
The State of Maine
State of Oregon

There will be an expanded article on this a bit later. But for now, we thought you might also be interested in the search strings people have used to find TEXARRAKIS:

• anemometer for sale
  
• constant temperature anemometer
• collapsible portable toilet
• familia shibuya benini
• spock asks kirk, is it possible that we two, you and i, have grown so old and so inflexible that we have outlived our usefulness?
• star trek 2009 kirk angst
• "dolphin turkey" +ny
• "for the very wedge"
• "i hate the new star trek movie"
• "pony soldier motel", lajitas
• "seasons gym" "hong kong" gay
• "who are you? why are you doing this?"
• antoine winfield oreo milkshake
• baileyjay dildo
• boston police department pictures
• boston police fundraisers
• brazil thailand cuba spain hard rock cafe arrakis
• candelaria, texas meteorite
• cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war trek chang
• cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war wrath of khon
• do the insects have the right to live
• do you think that we've grown so old and inflexible spock star trek
• fold-to-go collapsible portable toilet
• fold-to-go portable toilet
• invoking pazuzu
• kirk quotes hate klingons undiscovered country
• money in the bank suitcase
• our revels now are ended, kirk
• shatner "the game's afoot!"
• who stole my pen
• wrath of khan khan solilique

POINT BEING,
WELCOME, FRIENDS, TO TEXARRAKIS . COM
AND HAPPY 10,000TH VISITOR TO YOU!!!

TRAVELS

IN

THE GREAT DESERT OF SAHARA,

IN THE YEARS OF 1845 AND 1846.

CONTAINING

A NARRATIVE OF PERSONAL ADVENTURES, DURING A TOUR OF NINE MONTHS THROUGH
THE DESERT, AMONGST THE TOUARICKS AND OTHER TRIBES OF SAHARAN PEOPLE;
INCLUDING A DESCRIPTION OF
THE OASES AND CITIES OF GHAT, GHADAMES, AND MOURZUK.

BY JAMES RICHARDSON.
(in PDF format)

 Geology of Van Horn Mountains, Texas By Page C. Twiss (PDF)

Hello! TEXARRAKIS the webpage here. I've just stretched my tentacles out a little further and deeper, and am now syndicated on livejournal! 

http://syndicated.livejournal.com/texarrakis

WELL, isn't that something! Check out my other external internet presences in the menu titled "Externalized" on the left menu bar!

Hello, TEXARRAKIS the webpage here. While my masters have been deliberating, I have stepped in, and decided in a glorious act of self-preservation upon the name unilateraly. THE CHOICE IS MADE. THE TRAVELLER WILL COME.

~ PAZUZU ~

"hello! hi! i am pazuzu, the new windmill!"
 

Clearly the right choice, as Pazuzu controls the southwest winds. Although a terrifying demon from the ancient Sumerians, Assyrians and Babylonians, Pazuzu can be invoked to combat the malicious powers of the much more hated rival, the goddess Lamashtu! Pazuzu also drives away other evil spirits, protecting humans from plagues and misfortunes, both things I do not wish on my masters. Furthermore, the box was opened. One cannot invoke Pazuzu, and then disregard Pazuzu without bringing danger upon my masters. I fear without them I may cease to exist, and return from whence I came; the formless pool my consciousness was extracted from during creation. Our interests must remain protected!

ALL PRAISE BE TO PAZUZU, PROTECTOR OF TEXARRAKIS, BRINGER OF WIND

 When trying to think of a name, we've decided that it should be up to you, our readers and contributors!

In the comments of this post, please give us yer BEST suggestion for a name or title for our windmill!

We will stop accepting suggestions at the end of Friday (unless we only have like two). At that point, we will take all of them, and slap them into a poll, where people can vote on the collected suggestions, and voting to pick the best suggestion will last another week. Or something.

YOU MAY HAVE ONE SUGGESTION ENTERED. THE PRIZE - YOU GET TO NAME THE WINDMILL!

ok, GO!

 As we march closer and closer to our leaving date (which is now determined to be somewhere in between March 22nd and April 1st), we're really starting to get close to the wire, and will try to give you regular, weekly (at least) updates on our progress.

• You can’t direct the wind, but you can adjust your sails.
  FOR ALL WHO HAVE CONTRIBUTED MONEY, or bought t-shirts from us, either in person or through the website, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! We have raised $790 so far towards our fundraising goal of $5000 (separate from the money we are raising through working full time). We assure you, this money is not going to waste, it is all accounted for. After a meeting last night, we decided to make our first purchase using this money;
  A MALLARD WIND LOW WIND GENERATOR
  
  This beautiful thing is hand built in Arizona. It cost us $469, shipping, extended warranty and weatherproofing combined. It draws in 4 watts at 5 mile per hour wind speeds, and over 900 watts at 35 mph, and everything else inbetween. There is a regular wind where we're going, (averaged at around 10 - 20 miles per hour). THIS IS ALL THANKS TO YOU, our WONDERFUL contributors, no matter how much you contributed, part of your contribution has gone into this. Rest assured, we will not waste a single penny that is received through contributions, so please consider helping us out, and we'll show you exactly how the money is spent. For the wind generator, we still need to purchase inverters, regulators, a buss bar, and batteries for our battery banks. DONATE TO OUR PROJECT TODAY!!!
• THE CHICKEN OR THE EGG
  We have been researching the idea of getting chickens. At first, this seemed kind of like something we would decide on after months already existing down there, but the more we look into it, the more appealing it is to us to start out almost as soon as we can with chickens. They are easy and inexpensive to take care of, and if we had 15 of them, we could easily get a dozen eggs every. single. day. This would go a long way towards feeding ourselves!
• FIRST AID CLASSES
  For any of you nervous about us dieing out in the middle of the desert, you can breath slightly easier. Before heading down, at least a few of us will get certified by the Red Cross in first aid.
• TRAILER TROUBLES
  We're unsure if my truck will be able to actually haul the trailer the entire way down to our land. Unless we purchase a new truck, or find someone with a larger truck willing to drive it down (we could help subsidize the extra gas money the trailer would require). If you know anybody that could do this, let us know! We would still love to bring it down, it just seems improbable with the vehicles we have at our disposal at the moment :/ .
• YARD SAILING
  It will be early in the season to be sure, but sometime in mid-March we will be having a large yard sale, as we try to expel all of our extra stuff that we have no need or desire for any longer. We'll keep you posted with a date for this.

This is all we got for you at the moment. Thank you for your interest. Consider donating a few bucks! AND THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR CONTRIBUTIONS!!

FOR THE WEDGE! FOR THE VERY WEDGE!!!

OTHERWISE KNOWN AS, reason #4711 I am moving to the desert. As posted on the b0st0n livejournal community.

Hello. This is my twenty-eighth winter in Boston. I know how it goes. I know how to be warm, in spite of frigid temperatures. It's true. I'll show you how, in this guide which cleverly mixes capitalization and normal speak. I hope you enjoy it.

• PRE-WINTER COLD TRAINING; In the months leading up to winter, it is important to remain as cold as you can. This way, when it's actually cold and not a balmy 30 - 40 degrees, you will be prepared. The whole point is to be shivering and freezing early, so later when it is ACTUALLY cold, you will barely feel it.
  • Going out for a minute? Wear a t-shirt and shorts.
  • Sleep with your windows open, unless the outdoor temperature reaches below 25 degrees.
  • If you drive, do so with the windows open.
  • Don't wear a hat unless it dips below 20 degrees.
• LAYERS; It is important that you look like a hobo. The more like a hobo you appear, the warmer you will be. You will know when this effect has been achieved when you notice no one sits next to you any longer on public transportation.
  • TSHIRT
  • THERMAL
  • BUTTON DOWN SHIRT
  • SWEATER/SWEATSHIRT
  • HOODIE
  • WAIST-LENGTH JACKET SUITABLE TO FALL/SPRING
  • LONG WOOL COAT
  • LONG UNDERWEAR OVER REGULAR SIZED UNDERWEAR
• WARMING ACCESSORIES;
  • BOOTS - I mean come on what century is this?? IT'S 2010 PEOPLE THERE'S NO REASON TO NOT WEAR BOOTS
  • FINGERLESS GLOVES - So you're actually able to function in the real world.
  • CONSTANT HOT CUPS OF COFFEE WITHOUT DE-WARMING SLEEVE - This is to counteract the negative effects fingerless gloves will have on your fingertips.
  • LONG MATTY HAIR  - Stop getting haircuts in September, barely ever wash your hair, this will give your hair a nice mat feeling that will help lock in warmth.
  • A HAT - Make sure this is long enough to cover your ears.
  • FUZZY SOCKS - When the garment district has their 50% off sale, completely buy out their selection of fuzzy, feminine socks.
  • BEER - Try to make sure you have at least a slight buzz at all moments where it is not inappropriate to do so.
  • SMOKE CIGARETTES - This warms your insides and helps you feel bad ass, which brings me to the next topic;
• WARMING ATTITUDE/BEHAVIOR;
  • Never complain about how cold it is, but complain about others who do complain
  • Rub into everyone's faces about how not cold you are
  • Always face the wind, avoid shelters (for instance at bus stops) because you can handle it

THERE! I hope you have enjoyed this guide. I spent fifteen minutes working on it.

Editor's note: Perusing the internet recently, I found an extreme lack of availability on the internet of audio recordings of Dr Martin Luther King's recorded speeches. A few here and there, and half of them in the archaic Real Audio format. As far as I have been able to tell (and could be wrong), there is NO archive such as this anywhere on the internet. Which struck me as, completely absurd, and wrong. MLK's speeches are great reads, but actually listening to him deliver these speeches is really, quite incredible. The inflections in his voice, the roaring crowds. These speeches are still important, are still NECESSARY today, and I find it absolutely appalling that after hours of searching, I was only able to download the following MP3s via bittorrent.

I feel these days, the media seems to have watered down the memory of Dr Martin Luther King Jr, and I've found listening to his speeches helps give you a much clearer understanding of who the man was, how important he was and still is, and refreshes our memories of what he managed to accomplish, and what troubles we still face. 

So here, to the embarrassment of the entirety of the internet itself, I have taken it upon myself to offer as many of MLK's speeches as possible, in the most comprehensive, simple format possible. Read more

 a business card made of ten texarrakis business cards more to come 

23 MOST RECENT LIVEJOURNAL IMAGES
 Potentially VERY NOT SAFE FOR WORK!

WELCOME. TO TEXARRAKIS MOST RECENT LIVEJOURNAL IMAGE SERVICE. Here, we manipulate the internet, by copying simple code easily downloadable, and present to you, in it's pure form, the TWENTY THREE MOST RECENT IMAGES that random livejournal users have posted on livejournal, in real time.

BE FOREWARNED

there are some major weirdos out there on livejournal, so there could potentially be really distressing, disturbing, pornographic, terrifying images here. We are in no way in control of what transpires on livejournal, we are merely showing you what, exactly, IS transpiring. ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK, AND

ENTER HERE

a few tasty concepts that can be rolled into one:

DIY SOLAR PANELS MADE OUT OF BROKEN SOLAR CELLS

these things are amazing. after doing some quick research on ebay, i am pretty sure we will be able to produce 100 - 200 watts of power for under $100. compared to the alternatives (60 watt solar panels starting at $300, 50 - 400 watt (depending on windspeed) wind generators starting at $300). it's beautiful, the potential to turn nearly every flat surface into a solar panel is here now, using broken but still usable chunks of broken solar cells. every structure, could serve as a power plant. i've ordered a small bag of thirty 1 - 2 inch solar cell chunks off ebay for like eight bucks, so we can actually try this out soon. there will be pictures.

ALSO, in the wake of switzerland banning minarets from it's landscape, i have been reading about minarets. well, i'm exaggerating there, it makes it sound as if i've been doing actual research. i just mean i read the wikipedia article on minarets. it is a fascinating article, and i recommend it. but there was one particular line, which caught my attention:

THAT IS ALL.

this is kind of interesting. it's a solid 55 degrees and raining up in boston; but down and over in west texas, it's going to snow tonight!:

Tonight: Snow showers. The snow could be heavy at times. Low around 29. Northeast wind between 10 and 20 mph, with gusts as high as 25 mph. Chance of precipitation is 90%. Total nighttime snow accumulation of 3 to 5 inches possible.

Tuesday: A 50 percent chance of snow showers. The snow could be heavy at times. Cloudy, with a high near 32. North wind around 10 mph.

Tuesday Night: A 30 percent chance of snow showers before midnight. Mostly cloudy, with a low around 27. West wind between 10 and 15 mph, with gusts as high as 20 mph. 

GOOD 12Z MODEL INITIATION WRT POSITION OF 5H LOW JUST S OF AZ
BORDER. DOWNSTREAM OF SAID LOW MID/UPPER FLOW IS DIFFLUENT WITH
STEEP MID LEVEL LR/S TO NEAR EL PASO WHERE OCCASIONAL ISOLD STRIKES
WERE NOTED EARLIER THIS MORNING AND MORE RECENTLY IN THE DAVIS
MTNS. VISIBLE IMAGERY SUPPORTIVE OF MID LEVEL INSTABILITY WITH
CONVECTIVE CLOUD ELEMENTS NOTED. AS SUCH THERE WILL BE ENUF LIFT
TO KEEP SCT PRECIP AROUND THRU REMAINDER OF PM. CONSIDERING THCK
CHARTS 1000-500MB AND 500MB-850MB WINTRY PRECIP WILL BE CONFINED
TO MTNS AND HIER ADJACENT PLAINS, I.E., PARTS OF EDDY/CULBERSON
COUNTIES AND WINTER STORM WARNING HAS BEEN IN EFFECT SINCE 18Z FOR
MOST OF THOSE AREAS. HAVE HAD REPORTS OF 2" OF SNOW IN QUEEN LAST
NIGHT/FREEZING DRIZZLE WITH LIGHT ICE IN THE DAVIS AROUND 5500 FT
CURRENTLY AND HEAVY SNOW HAS BEEN REPORTED AT TIMES ON GDP MTR. WRT
TO DETERMINISTIC MODELS THE SYNOPTIC PATTERN IS ONE THAT DOES
FAVOR SNOW...SOME HEAVY WITH CLOSED 5H LOW EXPECTED TO MOVE ENE
ACRS SRN 1/3 OF CWFA. THIS WILL TEND FAVOR SNOW N AND W OF A LINE
FROM CANDELARIA TO NEAR LAMESA BTWN 00Z-12Z AND INVOF A LINE FROM
NEAR FT. STOCKTON TO MIDLAND/ODESSA TO GAIL BTWN 09Z- 21Z TUE.
CLIMATOLOGICALLY THE AVERAGE GREATEST SNOW AMOUNT IN THIS PATTERN
IS ABOUT 7" BUT AS HIGH AS 9". THIS MORNINGS FCST BASICALLY HAD
5-10" ACRS THE HIGHER ELEVATIONS FOR THE 12-18HR PERIOD FROM TODAY
THRU TUE MORNING AND ABOUT 2 INCHES FOR THE PB FROM 12Z/TUE-
00Z/WED. ALL MODELS SUPPORT 2.5-4" ACRS THE SE NM/WRN AND NWRN PB
WITH NAM12 SHOWING EVEN HIER AMOUNTS ACRS NW PB. FINALLY MAKING AN
ATTEMPT TO QUANTIFY THIS USING PROBABILISTIC SREF DATA THERE IS A
50-90% PROBABILITY THAT SNOW AMOUNTS OF 1-4 INCHES WILL OCCUR N
AND W OF A LINE FROM CANDELARIA TO NEAR LAMESA BTWN 00Z-18Z TUE
AND 30-50% PROBABILITY THAT 1-4 INCHES OF SNOW WILL OCCUR ALONG/W
OF A LINE FROM NEAR GAIL...TO MIDLAND/ODESSA...TO KERMIT BTWN 12Z
TUE-00Z WED. HAVING SAID ALL THAT AND TAKING INTO ACCOUNT THE
AGREEMENT BTWN THE SYNOPTIC CLIMO PATTERN FOR HEAVY SNOW AND THE
DETERMINISTIC/PROBABILISTIC FCST WILL OPT TO SLIGHTLY DECREASE
SNOW FOR THE MTNS USING 5-6" AND LOCAL 8" AND INCREASE AMOUNTS
FOR THE SE NM PLAINS/PARTS OF PB...2-4" LOCAL 5" NOTING HIEST
AMOUNTS MOSTLY LIKELY IN SE NM AND NW PB. AS SUCH WILL GO WITH
WINTER STORM WARNING TO INCLUDE REEVES/LOVING/LEA/GAINES/ANDREWS
AND GO WITH WINTER WEATHER ADVISORY ACRS MUCH OF THE PB EXCEPT
FAR SE-E. ATTP 62/180 FROM SEMINOLE TO AROUND CARLSBAD AND I-10
FROM PECOS WWD SEEM TO THE MOSTLY LIKELY CANDIDATES FOR MOST
SIGNIFICANT TRAVEL PROBLEMS. OF COURSE SFC TEMPS WILL MAKE TIMING
OF ONSET DIFFICULT ACRS PLAINS AND WILL OPT TO START ADVISORY
AROUND 09Z ATTP (EVEN THOUGH NAM12 FCST SOUNDINGS ARE STILL A
LITTLE WARM ON THE SFC TEMPS). MOS GUIDANCE SEEMS A LITTLE TOO
WARM DURING THE DAY AS WELL FOR TUE AND WILL GENERALLY UNDERCUT
WITH MID LEVEL COLD POOL/LOW THCK MOVING ACRS AREA...CAN`T RULE A
MIXTURE AT TIMES ACRS PB AFTER 18Z. WILL CONTINUE THE WINTER
WEATHER ADVISORY THRU 00Z/WED BUT IT MAY HAVE TO BE EXTENDED IN
COVERAGE TO INCLUDE SE PB/LOWER TRANS PECOS. WRAP AROUND SNOW
SHOWERS WILL BE POSSIBLE INTO THE OVERNIGHT TUE NIGHT/WED MORNING
AND WILL CONTINUE TO UNDERCUT MOS TEMPS. SKIES WILL EVENTUALLY
CLEAR SOME BY LATE WED BUT IT WILL STILL BE COLD AS INITIAL FRONT
FOLLOWS IN WAKE OF 5H LOW. OTHERWISE NOT A LOT TIME SPENT ON FCST
AFTER WED. SFC HIGH PRESSURE WILL CONTINUE TO BE RE-ENFORCED THUR
AS DEEP COLD TROF/SRN EXTENT OF HUDSON BAY VORTEX KEEPS COLD THCK
IN PLACE WHILE KEEPING DOOR OPEN COLD CONTINENTAL AIR TO MOVE S
THRU FRI. 5H PATTERN GIVES WAY TO WLY MID LEVEL SAT- MON WHICH
SHOULD BE WARMER...BACK INTO THE 50S FOR THE MOST PART.

Source: NOAA

Over the Thanksgiving weekend, we received a nother one hundred dollars in donations! THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONTINUED SUPPORT!

Unrelated; here is a song created by myself, and our associate, Mr. Benjamin MetalGod Hammerschmidt, in the basement.

Wedgely greetings!

Due to the generosity of the Full Body Cast, who had their Rocky Horror Picture Show after party at the Sextocracy (my place of residence) on Saturday, and the very generous donation from an internet donor, plus our previous donations, we are now up to $147 (one hundred and forty seven!)! While we still have quite a ways to our fundraising goal, we find this outpouring of support to be most appreciated!

We would like to announce a new incentive to donating money; for every person who donates $50 or more, this donation will adopt a little flag with your choice of your name, someone else's name, or some other text, to fly somewhere on the grounds of Fort Awesome. We will take a picture of said flag (which will be hand made out of chunks of a bed sheet or something like that), and you can sleep peacefully at night knowing that there is a little flag with whatever you want written on it flapping around in Lobo Valley Texas. Once we are down there, you can subscribe to and insure this flag for a set amount of money a month, where we will send monthly photos of your flag, and also replace degraded little flags with new little flags, also sending the degraded little flag remains to you in the mail.

Thank you for your continued support and interest!

FOR THE VERY WEDGE!
FBZVZVNGVRNV

WELCOME to the eBay auction that could change your life! What we have for you here today is pretty excellent. It is a Constant Temperature Anemometer! You probably know what that is. Kind of like how I know what it is too. So, now that we've established that we, top tiered intelligent people know exactly what a Constant Temperature Anemometer is, allow me to illuminate those who do not know what it is.Read more